2012 has been a thrilling year thus far. I am overwhelmed by life lessons and the highs of yesterday have often haunted me with pain in the present. I have done lots of work within to forgive myself first for the mistakes and what I have done unknowingly. Each day I fight an internal battle and have to make a decision whether or not I give in or give myself over to a higher power and look to the heavens for all the answers. I am learning that the fear that haunts me are the same fears that have been lingering for a long time. Part of the healing process is for me to FORGIVE. FORGIVE and FORGIVE more and more. The process of forgiveness frees me and allows me to find the inner motivation, strength, and courage to PRESS. I press through my tears and reach deep into my soul emptying and sorting through the garbage that and the stench that clings to the very core of me. I have to scrape the memories, the pains, the embarrassments, the hurt, the deep sorrow off me until I can see the joy the lies uncovered and hidden beneath the filth, guilt, and grit. I have to be truthful with myself everyday. No longer can I ignore the urges within and when my heart beats faster I commit to breathe. I commit to see God in everything and in everyone.......