9 Days Away Until Show Time and I am Feeling GOOD!

So this morning I woke up with so much on my mind. There was so many things that I wanted to make sure I accomplished. For one, I knew I had to get my vocals and diction going and to top the warm-ups off I had to do some emotional range stretching.  Yes, today was a rehearsal and sadly will be my last in the comfort of the cozy Chelsea apartment I was so accustomed to performing in. My director, Meredith she ROCKS! She is HONEST and she knows when I was holding back and could detect whether my stumbling over words and  memorization, loss of action, or just plain old FEAR!  Yes, that is was up until this day. FEAR was the big elephant in the room; talking about my vagina.  I know some thesbians would disagree," you are not talking about your vagina,"  so I guess, I should say the character's vagina. Yeah, whatever,  who am I fooling it's mine. All mine. My vagina. I can't hide. As an actor I know I needed to have some personal reference for the character but what better reference than my own VAGINA! You know the more I say this the more it just sounds like another part of me. Not a body part but the secret part of me. The private part of me.

Honestly, this rehearsal process has been challenging. How do you talk about your vagina and invite people like your DAD, your Uncles,and your BROTHER without feeling uneasy?  How about the thought of inviting someone who has seen your VAGINA! Okay, and then tell them to pretend not to think about me or my vagina just stay focused on the character and listen intently to what the character is communicating. And to answer your question, "NO, I am not talking about YOU, darling." So those are the fears I had to overcome and yes I am overcoming them every time I perform the piece. I have to surrender....yes I am talking about VAGINA'S, I will say the word, "P word" but only once and I will say the word "WET." And somehow I managed to get over it, myself and what others will think..... because the best part of it all is that I claim it's nature and call it "BEAUTIFUL. I will declare it and I won't be ashamed, it isn't a sinful, dirty, "unladylike" subject. I finally realized it was me that I was talking about it isn't detachable. My VAGINA Is ME! I am not sinful, dirty, or unladylike. I AM BEAUTIFUL!

I am feeling good about it and I have today I had the courage to invite the world to see just how beautiful I am and in essence we all are when we accept ourselves and all that GOD created....now that is truly amazing.....and inspiring...and freeing...and uplifting...and I could go and on and on. Please write along with with me....Fill in the blank. When I accept myself and all that God created I feel________________________.